Benjamin: Four Hundred Tries Later

Benjamin: Four Hundred Tries Later

I chose the word try
Way back when I did this
The very first time
For a very good reason

Life is trying
Living is giving it another go
Whether it be surviving or thriving
It's all about not quitting

More than once
I've turned away from this
So, what could it be
That keeps me coming back

A sad, simple truth
Could be fear
A simple, yet uplifting truth
Could be love

I have said before
Over this odyssey
Of 400 plus tries
That I am loved

That love is the fundamental reason
That all these tries later
Through the very darkest pits
Of all my anxiety and fear

I'm still here

In the Pen Volume 2: #31: Slice

In the Pen Volume 2: #31: Slice

Cut me open
And find inside
A small, scared boy
Just trying to hide

Cut me deep
And find within
A fragile glimmer
Of hope since given

Given in
To the lost dreams
Of a life
Once lived

Cut me through
To the core of when
I once believed
A new chance could begin

In the Pen Volume 2: #30: Jolt

In the Pen Volume 2: #30: Jolt

Bring me to life
With a jolt
Made of sacred energy

Compassion
Kindness
And care

Your love and support
Is priceless
And appreciated

In the Pen Volume 2: #29: Double

In the Pen Volume 2: #29: Double

Doubling up
On the quantity
Of my writing

Doubling down
On its importance
In my life

In the Pen Volume 2: #28: Gift

In the Pen Volume 2: #28: Gift

It's been explained to me
That each and every day
Is a gift

Good day: gift
Bad day: gift

The gift is the breath
In my lungs
The chance in my life
To live

An endless potential
Of opportunities
Is most definitely
A cursed gift

Endlessness is as exciting
As it is overwhelming

In the Pen Volume 2: #27: Thunder

In the Pen Volume 2: #27: Thunder

The signal of things to come
A storm inevitable
Bearing down on all things
Unfortunate enough to be on its path

There is no escaping the path
No avoiding the storm
We exist in the storm's world
And it decides without discretion

To raze from the earth
The lesser mortals
And their creations
With unmatched power

In the Pen Volume 2: #26: Stretch

In the Pen Volume 2: #26: Stretch

To reach a new level
A plane previously prohibited
Stretch your mind
Reaching out to a realm unseen
Unknown, untraveled, unclaimed

In its pure state
This place is not
Without welcome
It is of potential
Made by the unknown

Reach for more
More courage to explore
What has not been
More wisdom to understand
Our infinitesimal place

In the Pen Volume 2: #25: Prickly

In the Pen Volume 2: #25: Prickly

Ouch! 'Twas a rose's thorn
But lack, 'tis true beauty
Of red, of white, of golden yellow

Ouch! 'Twas another rose's thorn
Verily unto mine eyes I see new light
Of blue, of purple, of silky pink

Prick me upon my finger sweet rose
And I will match your red petals
With my flowing blood

However, I could never match
The beauty in your life
With the turmoil of my own

Perhaps I should ready my throne

In the Pen Volume 2: #24: Chop

In the Pen Volume 2: #24: Chop

With swift strikes
A flurry of blows
Makes far too quick
An end to what might
Have been eternal

The tallest trees
Stretching towards the endlessness
Refusing to harm others
Even for the sake
Of their own growth

Benevolence betrayed
Harmony harnessed
And a planet gasps
With only a few breaths remaining
Suffocation is inevitable

In the Pen Volume 2: #23: Muddy

In the Pen Volume 2: #23: Muddy

One need not track in
The moistened earth beneath their feet

But, sometimes,
It sure is a lot of fun

In the Pen Volume 2: #22: Expensive

In the Pen Volume 2: #22: Expensive

A season of giving
Doesn't have to break the bank

From one's heart
Gratitude pours forth

And into the heart of another
Love's light is lit

Give unto one another
Not in the name of money

Give and receive
In the name of unconditional love

In the Pen Volume 2: #21: Drain

In the Pen Volume 2: #21: Drain

You can take from me
My time

You can consume
My compassion

You can devour
My days

You can horde for yourself
My love

You can take
Not because I give
But because
No matter how much you take
There will always be more
Of me to give

In the Pen Volume 2: #20: Breakable

In the Pen Volume 2: #20: Breakable

I am not immune
To the hardships
Of both falsities
And truths

My will can be broken
Under the weight
Of woe and misery
First-hand and empathy

Pieces returned to where they once were
Not quite fitting the way they once did

In the Pen Volume 2: #19: Scorched

In the Pen Volume 2: #19: Scorched

Channeling from within
The fires of ferocity
Of passion
Of purpose

Erupting from within
An inferno
Capable of tempering
The tales of legends

In the Pen Volume 2: #18: Bottle

In the Pen Volume 2: #18: Bottle

There are many things
In our world
That can fit
Into a bottle

Our feelings do not

In the Pen Volume 2: #17: Swollen

In the Pen Volume 2: #17: Swollen

Part of all life
Is failure
That results in pains
Scrapes, bruises, cuts, and blood

Before one is left with the scars
There can be
Mounds of concern
Worry formed atop the wound

In the Pen Volume 2: #16: Angular

In the Pen Volume 2: #16: Angular

Meticulous mathematical measurements
Keep the world standing
The same things that draw our eyes
Up towards the heavens
Were once a collection
Of drawn mathematical equations

In the Pen Volume 2: #15: Weak

In the Pen Volume 2: #15: Weak

Is it strength
To discuss what hurts
Once again?

Is it strength
To move on
From the pain?

Is it strength
To never let it go
To carry the weight?

Is it weakness
To fail to decide
What to do with the pain?

In the Pen Volume 2: #14: Clock

In the Pen Volume 2: #14: Clock

Tick-tock
Goes the clock

The second hand racing around
To its progress we are bound

Tick-tock
Goes the clock

The minute hand moving
Regardless of what we're doing

Tick-tock
Goes the clock

The hour hand plays
Making minutes of our days

In the Pen Volume 2: #13: Guarded

In the Pen Volume 2: #13: Guarded

Keep what matters most
Guarded
Not locked away
Not unreachable
Not without hope for freedom
But from fear
From rejection
Keep it guarded
Keep it yours

In the Pen Volume 2: #12: Whale

In the Pen Volume 2: #12: Whale

It takes a creature
Of impressive immensity
To cross the leagues
Of an endless ocean blue

A song all its own
To fill the void
Seen by eyes closed
To the myths of the deep

In the Pen Volume 2: #11: Cruel

In the Pen Volume 2: #11: Cruel

The greatest cruelty
Is the fact
It never ends

Yes, there are moments bright
Glimpses of light
For those who make it through

Waiting at the end
Of light's path
Is another, cruel challenge

In the Pen Volume 2: #10: Flowing

In the Pen Volume 2: #10: Flowing

At once, in one description
At twice, in the other
At thrice, returning again

Back and forth
It flows
Back and forth

The tide shall take us
Take us all
One day

In the Pen Volume 2: #9: Precious

In the Pen Volume 2: #9: Precious

Never let go
Of one so precious
That the loss
Would mean an end

And while that one
May leave
It doesn't have to be
Because you let go

In the Pen Volume 2: #8: Star

In the Pen Volume 2: #8: Star

I was once told
To shoot for the moon
So that I might
At least land among the stars

I now know
It was amongst the stars
That I would always end
The comfort of their endlessness

In the Pen Volume 2: #7: Exhausted

In the Pen Volume 2: #7: Exhausted

Write one more
Page
Paragraph
Sentence
Word
Letter

Write
And keep writing
And then write some more

The hand cramps
The mind tires
And the soul depletes

With exhaustion challenging your drive
Kick it into the next gear

Exhaustion, like all challenges,
Is meant to be conquered

In the Pen Volume 2: #6: Drooling

In the Pen Volume 2: #6: Drooling

It's a moment of humility
That makes me say
Yes, I drool while I sleep

In the Pen Volume 2: #5: Chicken

In the Pen Volume 2: #5: Chicken

Comparing fear
To being a chicken
Has never made sense to me

What is that the bird has done
To make an observer think
What a cowardly creature

A creature of instinct
Cannot be held to the standards
Of self-aware creatures

In the Pen Volume 2: #4: Spell

In the Pen Volume 2: #4: Spell

Unleash upon the enemy
A gale force unrelenting
A storm unending
A raging inferno indomitable

Change the battlefield
Into a frozen tundra
An overwhelming flood
A land of lava

Create for your allies
A battle that cannot be lost
And for your enemies
A war that cannot be won

In the Pen Volume 2: #3: Roasted

In the Pen Volume 2: #3: Roasted

My mind goes first
To the aroma
Of a kitchen

My mind goes next
To the taste
Inside my mouth

My mind goes last
To the warmth
Inside my stomach

Whether it be
Chicken, pork, or beef
A good roast is priceless

In the Pen Volume 2: #2: Tranquil

In the Pen Volume 2: #2: Tranquil

Finding tranquility
Amongst the chaos
Can very well be
A fight beyond surviving
And instead
Be a willful drive
To thrive

In the Pen Volume 2: #1: Poisonous

In the Pen Volume 2: #1: Poisonous

It courses through my veins
Fills my lungs
Suffocating my hope
And dashing my dreams
As the poison burns me
Inside out

It is nearly ever present
It is always within
It is anxiety
And only I can
Find my own way out

Thank you
Nonetheless
To those who keep picking me up
Pointing out the way
And encouraging me
To take the next step forward