Inspired Uninspiring

Inspired Uninspiring

If I had to
I'd always be true
But you haven't made it to me yet

So instead I try
Do my best not to lie
But here I am again, fooling myself

Truth is
There is
No guarantee
That out there
Your walking down a road
That will lead you to me

Truth is
There is
A real chance
That our two paths
Will not cross
Or, worse yet, they already have
And will not again

How did we miss it?
If it already happened
If we already met one another
How did it not happen
Between us?

This skip in my rhythm
The missing beat
I know it's you

But it's my heart
My rhythm to change
I think...

I don't know
Truth is
There is
A very good chance
I just really don't know

How am I supposed to be inspired
By wisdom I can't comprehend?
How am I supposed to write from the heart
When I don't know how it works?

Just about every time
I write about this
I feel as if I'm paraphrasing
Putting my rhythmic spin
On wisdom that has never been mine

I listen, research, and synthesize
I cite my sources, show them appreciation,
And I keep myself open to further lessons

I am the one who catalogs
What he doesn't know

I am the one who observes
What he doesn't have

I am the one that stands a leader
Better suited to be a follower

I am the one who will keep writing
In regards to what he doesn't understand

Journey

Journey

You said you found me
You lied

You said you saw me
You lied

You said you'd bring me back
You lied

The truth is
Your eyes are closed
To what I am
And can become

And no,
No you did not see
What you wanted to see
Some warped version of me
To fit your reality

You saw nothing
With your closed eyes
Your mechanical heart
And your need for my conformity

I need not your welcome
To this world
Because it does not belong
To the blind

It also does not belong
To the widest of open eyes

It belongs to no one
And it always has
And will forever

Reality is ours within which
To exist
Not to recreate
Not to splinter
But to choose

We are not the pathmakers
We are the pathfinders

Green

Green

Empty tears flow
From eyes without strength

A cycle repeats
And with each passing
Takes another piece

Logic would claim
That only so many pieces
Can be taken
Before there are no more

Logic is right
Logic is wrong

There is a finite supply
Of pieces of strength
Of will
Of fight

Fight against
Fight for
The fight

The fight to take back
What was only ever meant
To be yours

Thought's Beginning

Thought's Beginning

Switching on the brain
Sending the current
Through one's current
State of mind

Inviting inside
The external stimuli
Bending it to the whim
Found within

Taking control
Does not have to be
An illusion

In fact, this illusion
Is born of the fear
The fear the darkness has
Of your light

Your light born of concerted consciousness

Feeling Guilty for Feeling

Feeling Guilty for Feeling

I'm saying sorry
For the disrupted
For the disturbed
For the dystopic
Feelings flowing freely

Freely through my mind
Freely through my heart
Freely through my body
Freely through me
Every free inch of me

This feeling
Free to come and go
As if I choose
To let it in
And to let it leave

And that's where the guilt sets in
This feeling that you've chosen the poison
This feeling that you've made yourself the victim
This feeling that you don't deserve to feel this

Attention seeker!
Fraudulent faker!
Insensitive insincerity!
Disgustingly disingenuous!

Write your empty words
Sing your lies
And turn your fake frown
Upside down

Again, and again,
And again,
And again!
I'm sorry

I'm sorry for the feeling
I'm sorry for losing another battle to it
I'm sorry that it isn't getting better
That I'm not getting better

I'm sorry

Found in the Light of Courage

Found in the Light of Courage

There is nothing special
Without belief

Belief in what could be
Faith in what is
Courage to take what is
And reach out for what could be

Keep your faith
In your courage
As your outstretched hand
Vanishes in the darkness of the unknown

Believe in a strength
You have not yet tapped into
The new strength you'll need
To grab hold and pull yourself up
And through the darkness

Step into the unknown
And be the light that illuminates the darkness
Gaze out at what you've discovered
Gaze in to appreciate what you've become

Thank You Little One

Thank You Little One

When up with her hand
She reaches

When out with her voice
She calls

When from her eyes
Her tears fall

There I must be
There, in her heart,
I must keep

Keep patient
Keep calm
Keep strong

For her

For my little girl