A Teacher's Plea

 A Teacher's Plea

I want to go back

I do

I want--

Quiet down now please

Come on kiddos, please

Thank you

I can't go back

It's not safe

I can't--

Students! Please

I don't want to raise my voice

Our classrooms

Are a second home

A place--

Should I just wait?

Let you all finish talking?

Okay, sorry about that

Where was I?

Oh, right--

Sorry, gotta take this call

Answer this email

Attend this virtual meeting

Learn how to use this

Learn how to use that

I have to relearn

How to do my whole job

But I'm here

Here for your children

Here for education

For compassion

For hope

Please, I want to go back, I really do

I just can't.

Boxes Aren't For Me

 Boxes Aren't For Me

I refuse

To climb into the box

That all of you

Built for me

So that you can be comfortable

I Had Some Thoughts

 I Had Some Thoughts

My thoughts are only ever

A solitary way of thinking

Everyone else with their own thoughts

Thinking alone and lonely

If the voices in my head

Share their thoughts

Are they new?

Or are they all just my thoughts

After all

They are my voices

I just hope

They're not really how I think

Punishment and Consequences

 Punishment and Consequences

I'm the kind of person

That will hold a grudge

Against myself

On behalf of others

That hold no grudge against me

Living in a constant state

Of self-imposed punishment

It's no wonder I'm so tired

So tired

So broken

I've chipped away too often

Hoping I still had time

So long as the chips were small

And yet, here I am

With nothing left

An Epic of Small Proportions

 An Epic of Small Proportions

With fewer words

Than would be expected

Fewer lines

Than would be required

With a pen that fits

In between my fragile fingers

A mortal's immortal journey is transcribed

Characters capable of living forever

In the mind's imagination

Traverse across the pages

Filled with one, simple truth

An author writes

And writes

And writes

And yet will never be

What their story is

Complete and content

With its place amongst eternity

Inevitability Carving Out Hearts

 Inevitability Carving Out Hearts

Death is absolute
Whether it be sudden or sincere

It can be both painful and merciful

Quick and clean or long and ugly

It can be brought upon others

With malcontent

But most death is indifferent

Seemingly random

Ironically, on purpose

Fleeing is as impossible as retreat

It does not walk, run, nor fly

It simply is

Death is not about fairness

Logic or carefully crafted calculations

It's human

Human and horrible

Human and honorable

Death is and always will be

Objects in Space: A Browncoat Ballad

 Objects in Space

A Browncoat Ballad

Through the honeycomb hive

And into their minds

She reads

Every guilty sting against her.

A woodland weapon cache

Where sticks fire bullets

Fully loaded with the safety off

Makes for an unpleasant recipe.

Take care

Wayward sheep of every feeling;

Out at the corner of no and where

You are very much not alone.

Through secret starlight space

An object of great fear

Stalks the unknowing prey

As a knowledge is revealed to all

To sleep now;

Goodnight Serenity.

The predator is now on board.

You either sleep, or he'll make you.

Doors are locked;

Lights are off;

The captain and not-a-preacher beaten;

The mechanic left bound by the beating heart of the ship.

The girl who feels

Has a brother who doesn't

(At least not out loud).

The predator demands his assistance.

The lion roars,

Boasting of his strength,

But can this tired lion

Defy the will of the jungle?

Can this lying lion

Make it back to his infiltrated lair?

Serenity speaks

And the lion whimpers.

The lion proves to be a hunter,

But of the smallest, weakest prey.

He becomes a man;

A desperate, evil man with issues.

Her honeycomb head,

As loud and chaotic

As a nest under attack,

Defeats the lion turned man.

The man now turned object,

An empty object in space.

Heart of Gold: A Browncoat Ballad

 Heart of Gold

A Browncoat Ballad

Titles can sometimes depend

If a government

Has decided to rule over

And ignore you and the others equally

A sense of control over others

Drives tyrants

Like ones who would rather play cowboy

Than serve the people of his community

A frightened felon of forced fealty

Bears down upon the Heart of Gold

Threats are made

And a cry for help is the response

A crew with what may seem

Like very little brains

But a whole lot of guns

Evaluates the inevitable

With hearts of courage

The Heart of Gold refuses to retreat

Defenses devised

Plans made clear

Never forget the stand

The stand against tyranny

Witnessed that day by all

Who took up arms

The Heart of Gold

With sacrifices made

Still stands

Beating forever more as a free place

Free from tyranny

Free from government

Free to be the heart that beats

For innocent souls looking for refuge

The Message: A Browncoat Ballad

 The Message
A Browncoat Ballad

If you can't run

You walk

If you can't walk

You crawl

And when you can't do that

You find someone to carry you

The scars of war

Never fade

And are shared

Among those

Who suffer through them

Memories of laughter and joy

Tempered by traumas

An ally from the war

Needs to be carried to his final destination

At least, it appears that way

But then he wakes up

He has forgotten the sincerity of the words

He has placed himself above the code

Above allies old and new

Serenity is now in danger

Tough decisions must be made

Ever true and loyal Browncoats

Soliders of old save Serenity

But can't save their fallen oath breaker

An oath breaker now prepared

To deliver his final message

To family and friends

Unaware that he had fallen

He will be remembered for what he was

When he still lived by those words

Not for what he became

When those words weren't getting through

To a man that just wanted to go home

Trash: A Browncoat Ballad

 Trash

A Browncoat Ballad

A villain they had hoped

To never see again

A deceiver and saboteur

With feminine wiles to boot

An old friend deceived

Rescued and enraged

The liar hitches a secret ride

A secret soon revealed

A challenge to his honor

Drives the captain

To defend his skills

And make some money of course

Unbeknownst to the liar

She is being lied to

The crew does not trust her

Burned bridges, no matter how pretty

A plan is hatched

While a contingency is placed

A priceless treasure targeted

A stronghold infiltrated

Yet another false husband is discovered

And before the treasure can be stolen

The con artist is conned

By a broken heart that will not break again

A mad scramble to get away

Has the temptress thinking

Believing she has won yet again

The captain is left with less than a respectable appearance

An equally negative appearance

Overcomes the liar

As the true companion

Leaves the liar to her trash

War Stories: A Browncoat Ballad

 War Stories
A Browncoat Ballad

Two among them
Once fought

A ferociously fierce fight

Against purple-bellied scum

It was a war they lost

But they're still not convinced

It was the wrong side

Now, with their biggest score yet

A decision was made by her

A vote with the captain

And against her husband

For him

It's the last straw

He hijacks his way

Into the next story

Removing her

From the captain and the mission

He learns about many things

He learns about carrying

He learns about being shot at

He learns about capture and torture

Confessions are made

While the captain

Keeps the husband breathing

Surviving the torture

The warrior wife

Saves her pilot husband

Leaving the captain

But is gifted his ear by the torturer

A rescue is mounted

The captain saved

And another war story is written

In blood and bonds unbreakable

No power in the 'verse can stop them

Speak

Speak

Speak into the world

Words worth speaking

According to the standards

Of those who spoke before

So you may build something

The next generation will find

Worthy of speaking of

Speak into the evolution

A language new, yet understood

By old and new

For context is king

Of this present history

Of this and all other

Present histories

Speak up for yourself

And speak up for others

Speak first

Speak second

Speak third

But at some point

Be sure to listen

We can speak into existence

Previously unknown truths

And condemn one another

With free-flowing falsehoods

Without the needed, spoken rebuttal

That condemned soul

May never be saved

Without word we wander

Wastelands weeping

My Poem

My Poem

I love this poem
Writing it
Believing in it
I love what it does
For me
And for others
I love my poem
Even if it turns out
That I am the only one

Hope

Hope

The whimpering echoes
Of an unbridled passion
Flowing through the lives
Of those still living
Drowning out the screams
Of all hope lost
To the inevitability
Of loneliness

Necessity

Necessity

You don't
Have to

You don't have to
Have a good day
Smile, wave, and
Be friendly

You don't have to
Have a bad day
Yell, bicker, and
Be mean

You don't
Have to

Make it through every day
Entirely on your own
Or ask for help
From anyone

You don't
Have to

Even when this world
Is so much bigger than you
More significant than you
Unending and unforgiving

You don't have to

Unique

Unique

It can be difficult
Being different

You're not quite right
Not all there
Something missing
From that space beneath your hair

You'll grow out of it
One day, you'll see
It's just a phase
This can't be who'll you'll be

Shame will be felt
So long as they think they can
Make you better
Make you theirs, in the palm of their hand

To be different
Means to be free
Of their control
Of their belief

You'll end up alone
Because you're different
That's what they'll try to tell you
While they adjust your temperament

Being different
Can be difficult

Benjamin: Four Hundred Tries Later

Benjamin: Four Hundred Tries Later

I chose the word try
Way back when I did this
The very first time
For a very good reason

Life is trying
Living is giving it another go
Whether it be surviving or thriving
It's all about not quitting

More than once
I've turned away from this
So, what could it be
That keeps me coming back

A sad, simple truth
Could be fear
A simple, yet uplifting truth
Could be love

I have said before
Over this odyssey
Of 400 plus tries
That I am loved

That love is the fundamental reason
That all these tries later
Through the very darkest pits
Of all my anxiety and fear

I'm still here

In the Pen Volume 2: #31: Slice

In the Pen Volume 2: #31: Slice

Cut me open
And find inside
A small, scared boy
Just trying to hide

Cut me deep
And find within
A fragile glimmer
Of hope since given

Given in
To the lost dreams
Of a life
Once lived

Cut me through
To the core of when
I once believed
A new chance could begin

In the Pen Volume 2: #30: Jolt

In the Pen Volume 2: #30: Jolt

Bring me to life
With a jolt
Made of sacred energy

Compassion
Kindness
And care

Your love and support
Is priceless
And appreciated

In the Pen Volume 2: #29: Double

In the Pen Volume 2: #29: Double

Doubling up
On the quantity
Of my writing

Doubling down
On its importance
In my life

In the Pen Volume 2: #28: Gift

In the Pen Volume 2: #28: Gift

It's been explained to me
That each and every day
Is a gift

Good day: gift
Bad day: gift

The gift is the breath
In my lungs
The chance in my life
To live

An endless potential
Of opportunities
Is most definitely
A cursed gift

Endlessness is as exciting
As it is overwhelming

In the Pen Volume 2: #27: Thunder

In the Pen Volume 2: #27: Thunder

The signal of things to come
A storm inevitable
Bearing down on all things
Unfortunate enough to be on its path

There is no escaping the path
No avoiding the storm
We exist in the storm's world
And it decides without discretion

To raze from the earth
The lesser mortals
And their creations
With unmatched power

In the Pen Volume 2: #26: Stretch

In the Pen Volume 2: #26: Stretch

To reach a new level
A plane previously prohibited
Stretch your mind
Reaching out to a realm unseen
Unknown, untraveled, unclaimed

In its pure state
This place is not
Without welcome
It is of potential
Made by the unknown

Reach for more
More courage to explore
What has not been
More wisdom to understand
Our infinitesimal place

In the Pen Volume 2: #25: Prickly

In the Pen Volume 2: #25: Prickly

Ouch! 'Twas a rose's thorn
But lack, 'tis true beauty
Of red, of white, of golden yellow

Ouch! 'Twas another rose's thorn
Verily unto mine eyes I see new light
Of blue, of purple, of silky pink

Prick me upon my finger sweet rose
And I will match your red petals
With my flowing blood

However, I could never match
The beauty in your life
With the turmoil of my own

Perhaps I should ready my throne

In the Pen Volume 2: #24: Chop

In the Pen Volume 2: #24: Chop

With swift strikes
A flurry of blows
Makes far too quick
An end to what might
Have been eternal

The tallest trees
Stretching towards the endlessness
Refusing to harm others
Even for the sake
Of their own growth

Benevolence betrayed
Harmony harnessed
And a planet gasps
With only a few breaths remaining
Suffocation is inevitable

In the Pen Volume 2: #23: Muddy

In the Pen Volume 2: #23: Muddy

One need not track in
The moistened earth beneath their feet

But, sometimes,
It sure is a lot of fun

In the Pen Volume 2: #22: Expensive

In the Pen Volume 2: #22: Expensive

A season of giving
Doesn't have to break the bank

From one's heart
Gratitude pours forth

And into the heart of another
Love's light is lit

Give unto one another
Not in the name of money

Give and receive
In the name of unconditional love

In the Pen Volume 2: #21: Drain

In the Pen Volume 2: #21: Drain

You can take from me
My time

You can consume
My compassion

You can devour
My days

You can horde for yourself
My love

You can take
Not because I give
But because
No matter how much you take
There will always be more
Of me to give

In the Pen Volume 2: #20: Breakable

In the Pen Volume 2: #20: Breakable

I am not immune
To the hardships
Of both falsities
And truths

My will can be broken
Under the weight
Of woe and misery
First-hand and empathy

Pieces returned to where they once were
Not quite fitting the way they once did

In the Pen Volume 2: #19: Scorched

In the Pen Volume 2: #19: Scorched

Channeling from within
The fires of ferocity
Of passion
Of purpose

Erupting from within
An inferno
Capable of tempering
The tales of legends

In the Pen Volume 2: #18: Bottle

In the Pen Volume 2: #18: Bottle

There are many things
In our world
That can fit
Into a bottle

Our feelings do not

In the Pen Volume 2: #17: Swollen

In the Pen Volume 2: #17: Swollen

Part of all life
Is failure
That results in pains
Scrapes, bruises, cuts, and blood

Before one is left with the scars
There can be
Mounds of concern
Worry formed atop the wound

In the Pen Volume 2: #16: Angular

In the Pen Volume 2: #16: Angular

Meticulous mathematical measurements
Keep the world standing
The same things that draw our eyes
Up towards the heavens
Were once a collection
Of drawn mathematical equations

In the Pen Volume 2: #15: Weak

In the Pen Volume 2: #15: Weak

Is it strength
To discuss what hurts
Once again?

Is it strength
To move on
From the pain?

Is it strength
To never let it go
To carry the weight?

Is it weakness
To fail to decide
What to do with the pain?

In the Pen Volume 2: #14: Clock

In the Pen Volume 2: #14: Clock

Tick-tock
Goes the clock

The second hand racing around
To its progress we are bound

Tick-tock
Goes the clock

The minute hand moving
Regardless of what we're doing

Tick-tock
Goes the clock

The hour hand plays
Making minutes of our days

In the Pen Volume 2: #13: Guarded

In the Pen Volume 2: #13: Guarded

Keep what matters most
Guarded
Not locked away
Not unreachable
Not without hope for freedom
But from fear
From rejection
Keep it guarded
Keep it yours

In the Pen Volume 2: #12: Whale

In the Pen Volume 2: #12: Whale

It takes a creature
Of impressive immensity
To cross the leagues
Of an endless ocean blue

A song all its own
To fill the void
Seen by eyes closed
To the myths of the deep

In the Pen Volume 2: #11: Cruel

In the Pen Volume 2: #11: Cruel

The greatest cruelty
Is the fact
It never ends

Yes, there are moments bright
Glimpses of light
For those who make it through

Waiting at the end
Of light's path
Is another, cruel challenge

In the Pen Volume 2: #10: Flowing

In the Pen Volume 2: #10: Flowing

At once, in one description
At twice, in the other
At thrice, returning again

Back and forth
It flows
Back and forth

The tide shall take us
Take us all
One day

In the Pen Volume 2: #9: Precious

In the Pen Volume 2: #9: Precious

Never let go
Of one so precious
That the loss
Would mean an end

And while that one
May leave
It doesn't have to be
Because you let go

In the Pen Volume 2: #8: Star

In the Pen Volume 2: #8: Star

I was once told
To shoot for the moon
So that I might
At least land among the stars

I now know
It was amongst the stars
That I would always end
The comfort of their endlessness

In the Pen Volume 2: #7: Exhausted

In the Pen Volume 2: #7: Exhausted

Write one more
Page
Paragraph
Sentence
Word
Letter

Write
And keep writing
And then write some more

The hand cramps
The mind tires
And the soul depletes

With exhaustion challenging your drive
Kick it into the next gear

Exhaustion, like all challenges,
Is meant to be conquered

In the Pen Volume 2: #6: Drooling

In the Pen Volume 2: #6: Drooling

It's a moment of humility
That makes me say
Yes, I drool while I sleep

In the Pen Volume 2: #5: Chicken

In the Pen Volume 2: #5: Chicken

Comparing fear
To being a chicken
Has never made sense to me

What is that the bird has done
To make an observer think
What a cowardly creature

A creature of instinct
Cannot be held to the standards
Of self-aware creatures

In the Pen Volume 2: #4: Spell

In the Pen Volume 2: #4: Spell

Unleash upon the enemy
A gale force unrelenting
A storm unending
A raging inferno indomitable

Change the battlefield
Into a frozen tundra
An overwhelming flood
A land of lava

Create for your allies
A battle that cannot be lost
And for your enemies
A war that cannot be won

In the Pen Volume 2: #3: Roasted

In the Pen Volume 2: #3: Roasted

My mind goes first
To the aroma
Of a kitchen

My mind goes next
To the taste
Inside my mouth

My mind goes last
To the warmth
Inside my stomach

Whether it be
Chicken, pork, or beef
A good roast is priceless

In the Pen Volume 2: #2: Tranquil

In the Pen Volume 2: #2: Tranquil

Finding tranquility
Amongst the chaos
Can very well be
A fight beyond surviving
And instead
Be a willful drive
To thrive

In the Pen Volume 2: #1: Poisonous

In the Pen Volume 2: #1: Poisonous

It courses through my veins
Fills my lungs
Suffocating my hope
And dashing my dreams
As the poison burns me
Inside out

It is nearly ever present
It is always within
It is anxiety
And only I can
Find my own way out

Thank you
Nonetheless
To those who keep picking me up
Pointing out the way
And encouraging me
To take the next step forward

Therapy

Therapy

Falling ever so slightly
Into something just a little bit different
Making changes for me
Committing to the long term

Results along the way
Serve as a reminder
That the goal at the end
Is where I must go

Alliteration Bonus

Alliteration Bonus

Deliberate deeds done
For forever friends
Ever existing

Loved life lived
Genuine gratitude garnered
I insist indeed

Truly the truest

Teacher Problems

Teacher Problems

A strange thing it is
To be expected to be
The center of attention
And yet, actually be,
The most ignored person in the room

Watching What One Says

Watching What One Says

The weight that words carry
Is not carried by the words
That weight is placed
Upon the shoulders
Of both the speaker and listener

Over and Over In My Mind

Over and Over In My Mind

Shrinking away in concern
Worries overwhelming
A small light at the end
Grows smaller

A day later
I discover
There was nothing
To worry about