Thursday, January 7, 2016

Our Mrs. Reynolds: A Browncoat Ballad

Our Mrs. Reynolds
A Browncoat Ballad 

The trap is laid
With flowing dresses
And pretty floral bonnets

A second trap is laid
With dance and drink
And a pretty hat made out of a tree

What once was a simple, single captain
And a seemingly simple, pretty girl
Are now a couple of most amusing circumstances

Among the jest made at the captain’s expense
Are implications of an evil, lecherous intention
And an especially hellish destination

A captain confused
Left feeling isolated from his crew
Feels also, the obligation to protect and confide in his bride

The new bride takes note of this
Makes her last move
Springing the trap

First goes the captain with a poisoned kiss
Then goes the pilot with brute force, once seduction fails
The companion is not to be fooled

The false bride flees
Leaving the crew
To their apparent doom

Waiting for this bamboozled crew
Is the end of the line
Best give the big one his favorite gun

The end of the line is broken
By a desperate plan
And a well dressed rifle

The false bride
Is the captain’s bride no more
She does live, however

To use her feminine wiles in the future

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